Old Souls Study Guide 2: On Pain
Post Two: The Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group 9 Part Series
Welcome to our second post in the Old Souls Study Guide series. Each of the posts in the 9 post series stands on its own so begin here or start with Post One. For more about The Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group (SASS) and the Old Souls Study Guide, click HERE.
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“By the time we are old, we have lived long enough to know what we and the world are capable of: the heights to which we can arise, and the depths to which we can sink. If at that point we allow ourselves to break open rather than shore up, we have the potential to live deeper, more authentically–-sometimes for worse, often for better. Perhaps evolution has given us old age because it takes so long to get beyond denying, defending and story-telling to live life in its intended intensity.”
Older, Wiser, Fiercer, “A Private Pleasure” and “Beyond Power pp. 8-13.
Questions for Journaling or Discussion
1. When you are in pain, do you tend to let yourself feel it or do you defend against it? What are your go-to coping strategies? What works about these? Where do they fall short?
2. In what ways do you view age-related losses as personal failure? Can you imagine entertaining a kinder relationship with yourself when you are in pain?
3. This excerpt speaks of allowing ourselves to be broken open versus shoring up. Which stance is most likely to lead to genuine acceptance?
4. Do you think it’s possible to simultaneously be both in pain and at peace?
Carol’s Commentary
I have always prided myself on being a problem-solver—trying harder, smarter, more creatively to find resolution. I thought this ability to exert power over circumstances would only grow with age. But increasingly, I am coming up against challenges that no amount of pushing through, battling or strategizing will ever prove to be enough. For me, spiritual growth has evolved in tandem with surrendering control and trusting God. I may once have preferred the illusion of power and simple happiness but more and more, I am understanding that the embrace of humility, expanded perspective and compassion for myself and others represents the true fulfillment of my human potential.
A Spiritual Aging Exercise
To find the cutting edge of your own growth, and to assist in your discernment, try this exercise.
Take out your journal (or if you don’t have one, this is a good time to start) and describe in detail a loss you’ve suffered that busted an illusion about yourself or the world to live a more authentic life?
Next Week
In Post Three of the Spiritual Aging Study Guide we turn our attention to allowing ourselves to live more authentically. If you would like to read ahead, we will be reflecting upon the section “”Growing Wild” in Older, Wiser, Fiercer pp. 14-15. See link to Post Three below.
This is the second of 9 sequential study guide posts we are reflecting upon together this year on a monthly basis. If you are new joining us, here is the link to Post One For more about SASS and the Old Souls Study Guide, click HERE.
Post Three: The Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group 9 Part Series
I believe having done your exercise that my emotional pain makes worse any and all physical pain. Disconnection is such a big part since Covid and hasn’t recovered yet at least for me. In part I believe because it finally dawned on me that the superficial relationships I had which were toxic or only one sided - was my circle. This is a tough pill to swallow.
I have been very fortunate to live with the physical pain that I see so many of my contemporaries deal with on a daily basis. My pain if I have any tends to be more emotional when I feel disconnected somehow from friends and family for whatever reason. It is not really a loss more and that others get busy and we just don't connect. I feel sad when that happens and that can be painful.