Old Souls Study Guide 3: Growing Wild

Post Three for Personal Reflection and Group Leaders

Welcome to the third post in Carol Orsborn’s Old Souls Study Guide series. (Previously named Weekly Sass and now continuing as a 9-part series that will take us through the end of the year.) Each post stands on its own so if you are new, you can join in here or start with Post One: On Paradox.  

Note to my growing band of subscribers and pledgers:, Be on the lookout later this week for an important update about our study guide model and the Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group.

                                                                                              --Fiercely Yours, Carol

Quote for Reflection

“Now that I am old, the seed has taken over.  I have gone all in on who I really am, availing myself anew to self-exposure. The persona is no longer functioning as I once hoped it would—offering the cover of protection as part of an on-going, diligent work in progress. But this time my response to self-exposure is different: a growing bolder rather than shrinking back. I am not being careful anymore. I am growing wild.”

                                                              Older, Wiser, Fiercer, “” pp. 14-15                       

Questions for Journaling or Discussion

·        What adjustments did you have to make to your authentic self to survive childhood and adolescence?

·         How many personas have you adopted over the course of your life—to fit in, win approval and provide protective cover? Describe each and the age you adopted it?

·        If a persona cracked, how did it feel to be exposed? How long before you adopted a new one? Was there, as far as you know, a last one?

·        What was the seed of your own authentic self that has been in you all along?

·        What would it take for you to let this seed take root and grow wild? What would “growing wild” look like for you?

Carol’s  Commentary

This is kind of a trick question for me, because I was considered by my very proper and status-conscious mother to be “a wild child” from the get-go. This rebellious streak in me propelled me through adolescence and into adulthood. (UC-Berkeley Class of 70…need I say more?) But while much of my wildness was authentic, it took many years to come to understand that some of it was a reaction to the forces that were pressing upon me. But kneejerk reactivity is not the same as freedom. It’s just another persona.

Much of my adult life, and particularly this advanced age and stage in life, have been about giving myself permission to be less about acting impulsively and calling it “authentic” and more about being whole, having the entirety of who I really am available to me to make the best choices moment by moment. For me, sometimes growing wild means being outspoken but now it also includes the possibility of being quiet, kind or patient.  This is true authenticity and the key to freedom.

A Spiritual Aging Exercise

To find the cutting edge of your own growth, and to assist in your discernment, try this exercise.

For just one day, notice when you are doing, saying or being in any particular way for the primary purpose of winning approval or in kneejerk reactivity. Start by taking a look at the clothes you’re wearing. Are you dressed in a way that expresses your true essence—or have you made compromises to fit in, or chosen to make a rebellious statement that you’ve since outgrown?

When do you stay silent when you have something to contribute? When do you tell jokes when what you really wish you could do was cry? Do you stuff your real opinions when you should speak up or instead indulge in impulsive gossip which is unkind or unhelpful?  You don’t have to do anything with this information but tell the truth, feel and trust. This is how the seed of your authentic self gets watered, self-nurtured by your organically expanding consciousness.

Next Post

In Post Four of the Spiritual Aging Study Guide we turn our attention to when to push through challenges versus when to accept. If you would like to read ahead, we will be reflecting upon the sections “Catching the Breeze” and “The Second Mile” in  Older, Wiser, Fiercer,, pp. 16-19. Look for Post Four July 15 and my note about important updates later this week.

Let’s Chat

I’ll kick this week’s chat off below by asking your opinion about something that’s on my mind!

Link to Post Four of a Nine Part Series