Old Souls Study Guide 1: On Paradox
Post One: The Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group 9 Part Series
Welcome to our first post in the Old Souls Study Guide series. These posts are inspired by reader’s guide models for personal reflection and for book club discussions. Join the online chat that follows and consider starting your own in-person SASS to work the posts together. For more click ABOUT.
This Week’s Reflection
“Aging is a time full of irony. We find ourselves brimming with unexpected passion, but frequently lack the energy to see things through. We experience ourselves to be at the peak of our knowledge and abilities, only to realize that we are masters of a world that no longer exists. …We’re often uncertain how much more we can bear. And yet, we pray with every fiber of our being for more.”
Older, Wiser, Fiercer, “What is Age” pp. 6-7
Questions for Journaling or Discussion
1. What have you mastered in the past that no longer exists for you? How do you feel about this?
2. How do you tend to adapt to change? Is it getting harder or easier as you age?
3. What surprises you about aging? What are some of the shocks as well as some of the unexpected delights?
4. Do you tend to prefer serenity or passion? How does this preference enhance your life? What, if any, are the limitations?
Carol’s Commentary
At first encounter, the paradoxes of age are painful. That is because we have been socialized to value only the part of us that wants to be strong, certain and powerful. But in truth, the paradoxes have been with us all our lives and while confessing to them may feel unsettling, it is also what makes us whole.
It takes time to cultivate an appreciation for that which keeps us simple and grounded. This doesn’t mean that you can’t tap into that part of you that can be counted upon to rise to the occasion but it takes that much more honesty to take into consideration the fact that there are parts of yourself that are requiring more time and attention than they used to. It also takes that much more faith to honor the demands of this age and stage of life to both make the necessary sacrifices and reap the unexpected rewards.
A Spiritual Aging Exercise
To find the cutting edge of your own growth, and to assist in your discernment, try this exercise.
1. Recall a time in your life when you experienced yourself to be at the peak of your knowledge and abilities. Come up with 4 or five adjectives to describe the feeling? Ie competent, proud, powerful.
2. Now revisit your list of adjectives, changing each to its opposite., ie competent becomes incompetent, proud becomes disappointed, powerful becomes powerlessness.
3. Consider the possibility that who you really are has never been only the character traits you deem as desirable but equally that which you’ve been struggling to avoid, as well. Complete every pair of opposites by connecting them with the word “and” in this sentence: “Sometimes I am (adjective from list 1) and sometimes I am (opposite adjective from list 2.)” For instance: “Sometimes I am proud and sometimes I am disappointed.”
One of the greatest gifts of older age is the growth of your capacity to embrace the larger truth about yourself and hold the whole of who you are with compassion. And then, prepare to be pleasantly surprised.
Next Post
In our second post, we turn our attention to deepening our relationship to the pain associated with age-related losses. If you would like to read ahead, we will be reflecting upon the sections “A Private Pleasure” and “Beyond Power” in Older, Wiser, Fiercer, pp. 8-13.
SASS Members: Let’s Chat
In the Chat following one of my recent posts, Intro to the Spiritual Aging Study Guide, Francine Hershkowitz commented: “Community is an essential. We have lost a lot of community support because of the dispersal of families. zoom and email are not quite enough to help with the need for a hug sometime or seeing a response in someone's eyes or taking a walk to share a deep conversation.”
Diana O responded: “agree, Francine -- one of the ‘things I came here for’ is to invite and build community thru connections -...it's my "life work" these days of living in the Slow Lane, I'm a lover, a seeker and a gatherer...one day at a time.”
I will kick off the chat that follows with an issue related to this post I would love your feedback on and please gift us with your response to any of the questions or exercises in this week’s study guide or anything you are inspired to share.
By the way, if you would prefer to post using your first name only, here’s how.
“To use only their first name or a different display name in a thread, users can adjust their profile settings on Substack. Here’s how they can do it: 1. Go to Substack profile settings. 2. In the profile settings, users can edit their display name to include only their first name or any name they prefer. 3. Save the changes. This will update how their name appears when they comment on threads or anywhere across the Substack platform.”Substack
Post Two: The Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group 9 Part Series
Old Souls Study Guide 2: On Pain
Welcome to our second post in the Old Souls Study Guide series. Each of the posts in the 9 post series stands on its own so begin here or start with Post One. For more about The Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group (SASS) and the Old Souls Study Guide
I sometimes struggle with the need to share what I've learned about life with the world with the equal desire to self-nurture in solitude. Is this also one of your paradoxes of age? Making any headway? Love to hear your thoughts or anything this post has inspired...
I find that I am both needing solitude, quiet time to simply be with my thoughts and feelings about life in general, as well as time with loved ones to engage in life together like a shared meal or walk in the park. As I age I find I am meeting new people and it is hard to know where to start in introducing myself. There is so much to my story and yet what I find most relevant is what is happening right now in the moment we are connecting. The older I get the more I experience the commonality in our lives which brings about a sense of camaraderie.