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Glen Dunbar's avatar

I have a plan B for my aging life. I find that it gives me more peace of mind than not having one. It involves having Advance Care Directives, Health Care PoA, Will and the other usual Eol planning documents. I even know however, which personal care home, memory care facility, nursing home and hospice facility I would choose if such care becomes necessary. I can't say I look forward to any of that, but it makes me feel better to have plans. There are still holes, however, like how to pay potential bills. In our society, there are sometimes no good answers.

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Jann Freed's avatar

I hear what you are saying Carol and it is really tough to stay the plan given the current political environment. I find it a challenge to the soul. This is the time to be tethered to the soul.

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Steve Katz's avatar

Ultimately, our souls are all we've got, Jann. And we've got them regardless of the environment we're living in.

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Mary Rose Marrin's avatar

Thank you for sharing your struggle, Carol - one which so many of us share, even living in different countries. I believe in prayer and in communal support. Let us pray for each other.

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Charlotte Allen's avatar

Carol

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Charlotte Allen's avatar

Carol, I am in awe of your ability to ‘hold’ our precious tribe of kindred spirits, while also being willing to share the impact of these turbulent times on you personally, and domestically. I hope you are able to take as much from the group as you give of yourself.

In terms of plans, I am mindful of John Lennon’s words, ‘Life is what happens when you are making other plans’. That feels particularly apt right now. What is unfolding is entirely unfamiliar and unexpected and makes me wonder what resources I have to manage my fear and despair. But maybe fear is always simply fear, no matter what triggers it. And maybe plans are just an illusion, that allow us to believe that we are in control of our destiny. Clearly not!

Putting our house in order, making a will, an advanced directive etc is still a valuable and helpful thing to do (especially for our loved ones). But maybe ultimately it’s about finding the grace in whatever is presented to us, opening ourselves to the deep peace of acceptance.

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Steve Katz's avatar

My plan A is to live in a community of like-minded souls that will nurture and support each other to the best of our abilities for as long as we can - until such time as an advance care directive becomes needed to be referenced. As Glen Dunbar pointed out above, the financing of life in such a community represents a hole in plan A. My plan B is to replicate plan A in a more affordable place in the world, perhaps like this place in Cotacachi, Ecuador: https://clublomas.com/

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Ruth Mcquirter's avatar

I am blessed to live in an apartment building where, over the 15 years I have lived here, I’ve made more close friends than in the 30 years I owned my own home. We share time in a pool, cook for one another, watch tv in a friend’s apartment, often just talk over coffee or tea. The great thing is that we also have the privacy of our own space. I hope to live here as long as I am able.

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Steve Katz's avatar

You are indeed blessed to live in such a naturally occurring community, Ruth. Your building sounds very much like a cohousing community.

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