Tiptoeing through Turbulence

An exclusive sneak peek from my upcoming book Spiritual Aging

But first: A word about immortality, humility and why I write

Hard to believe I published my first of 36 books nearly 40 years ago. I was still in my thirties, my immortality assured. Imagine my shock when within months after publication, I found it in the bookstore remainder bin for 10 cents. This rude awakening did not just cause me to drop several layers of masks—the ones centered  on my identity as a successful author--but ripped them away.

I laid the whole enterprise to rest thinking I would never write again. During this period, I shed my fancy NYC agent and publisher, who had been all too quick to stop returning my calls. Ahead of me lay a void--empty space I had somehow to fill.

But life went on. My family and true friends were still there even when I was knee-deep in the rubble. I soon realized these were the people in my life who loved me no matter what—that accepted me as being inherently worthy, not just because of what I accomplished.

After grieving the loss of my career and embracing the simplicity of being beloved by some for no particular reason, a funny thing happened. I became gradually aware that I now knew things about life in my gut I hadn’t before fully digested. I realized there was a larger context and a deeper story that were calling me back to writing.

35 books later, I’m still writing. Some have sold more than others and that first experience was not the only time I felt lost and hopeless. But sooner or later, I keep emerging a smidge less identified with self-protection, entitlement and approval and that much more willing to pay the price of sharing my authentic self channeled through words with others who are also navigating this at once exciting and dangerous passage through life.

And so it is, I am here today with a sneak peek excerpt from the book I’ve been working on somewhere between 7 years and all my life: the first of the Weekly Reflections to be published anywhere. Pub date is December 10 and you can pre-order it HERE  The book contains two years of weekly readings meant to be read in perpetuity in two-year cycles. Paid subscribers will have access to a weekly study guide accompanying each reading and to reflect together in an online Spiritual Aging Study and Support group. This is Third Week of June, Year One.

TIPTOING THROUGH TURBULENCE

Excerpt from Spiritual Aging: Weekly Reflections on Embracing Life

Some weeks you know that your soul is at home in the world, when the universe seems luminous with never-ending peace and joy. There are those weeks, however, when you are called to reflect upon something you had not anticipated. Spirituality, lived in truth, is not always an ascension, but sometimes a descent.

It is in the turbulence and voids where you are stripped bare of your illusions, where the life you constructed but have now outgrown has the least grip on you and therefore where you are most able to let go of the past and make room for changes. It’s frightening to be so exposed, but because this place has become familiar to you, you no longer run from pain, from uncertainty, from fear.

You allow the breaking of denial to take with it the aspects of the status quo acquired over a lifetime that have become deadening to your spirit. And what’s more, don’t be shocked to discover that you do not just descend into the void once and then it's over. Masks that have taken decades to build will need to be disassembled layer by layer, year after year.

But over time, emerging out of the debris of your outgrown constructions, the authentic essence and beauty of who you truly are grow stronger. When you recognize what has been lost, you will grieve more fully. In this state, when you open to the truth of your life, more will be revealed to you. Over time, the pieces of a new reality more consistent with who you really are will fall into place. You will find yourself enabled to look into your heart and recognize an expanded capacity for compassion, for kindness, for courage. And there is only one way to discover this renewed passion for life that does not involve falling into the void. That is to descend willingly.

 “Instead of transcending the suffering…we move toward the turbulence and doubt. We jump into it. We slide into it. We tiptoe into it. We move toward it however we can. We explore the reality and unpredictability of insecurity and pain, and we try not to push it away,” writes Pema Chodron.

This is the price to be paid for being fully alive. And this is a price you must be willing to pay. Not just this week, but whenever you are courageous enough to answer life’s summons to grow.

Spiritual Aging: Weekly Reflections on Embracing Life is available for pre-order now for its December 10 publication date. Be among the first to pre-order one for yourself as well as for holiday gifts. Links to pre-order HERE