Old Souls Study Guide 5: On Enduring

For Individual Reflection and Spiritual Aging Support Group Leaders Guide

Welcome to this month’s Old Souls Study Guide. Each post in this 9 part series stands on its own so if you are new, you can join in here or visit the archives to start with Post One: On Paradox to work at your own pace individually or with a group.

Personal Note: I’m overjoyed to learn that Spiritual Aging Study and Support Groups (SASS) are springing up internationally using my books and this study guide to inspire the conversation. It’s not too late to join in. Here’s how: “Who are Your Four?”

This Week’s Excerpt

“If one is fortunate to endure long enough, that which we resist about aging  mysteriously transforms into something one no longer hopes to escape. Rather, one becomes willing to embrace the whole of it with a deep, quiet understanding of the bittersweet nature of life. Letting go of what once was or might never be or of what still is no matter how hard we try to make an improvement is no longer a punishment, but a place so true and so deep, it can’t be spoken.”

            Older, Wiser, Fiercer, “On Enduring”” and “Milestone Birthday” pp. 20-25

Questions for Journaling or Discussion

·       From a spiritual perspective, which aspects of growing older are getting easier as you age? More challenging?

·        Can you recall a time you experienced not only acceptance but gratitude for an aspect of aging you previously resisted?

·       Have you experienced “a glimmer of the holy”?—something that persists in you that has nothing to do with age, death, or anything that could ever be lost?

·       What are your last pockets of resistance to being open to whatever unfolds in your life? What could it be like for you if you traded dread for curiosity?

Carol’s  Commentary

For me, I much prefer being old to aging. There is a difference, and this will be good news for those of you who dread the idea of growing older.

Of course, it’s hard to shake the negative connotations packed into the word “old” but I have discovered that from a spiritual perspective, the positives far outweigh the negatives.

When I was “aging” I expended a lot of energy trying to forestall reality by thinking I had it in me to extend midlife forever. Of course. It didn’t work. During that fraught onramp to old age, I compared myself to how airbrushed celebrities were looking and acting at the same age, fell prey to snake oil remedies and blamed myself when my efforts to forestall aging came up short. But gradually, doing the work of spiritual aging and choosing friends wisely, I began embracing being old as a time of increased freedom, expanded perspective and compassion. What joy to being beyond submitting myself to the judgment of others or working for compliments! For me, at 76, growing old represents growing whole and growing free.

Spiritual Aging Exercise

To find the cutting edge of your own growth, and to assist in your discernment, try this exercise.

1.) How are you feeling now about your next milestone birthday? What are you excited about? What do you dread?

2.) Imagine how you would like to feel when the day actually arrives. Are there any obstacles to overcome or embrace between now and then?

3) Regardless of how close or far you are from your ideal, plan the milestone birthday of your dreams—a day that celebrates your true magnificence.

Next Week

In September’s Spiritual Aging Study Guide, 6th in the series, we turn our attention to the creature comforts of age . If you would like to read ahead, we will be reflecting upon the section “The Senses” in  Older, Wiser, Fiercer, pp. 26-27.

The study guides we’re working with through 2024 are based on readings taken from my best-selling book Older, Wiser, Fiercer. Purchase of the book is optional as the monthly guides stand on their own. In 2025, the study guides go weekly and the focus will move from Older, Wiser, Fiercer to weekly readings from my new book Spiritual Aging: Weekly Reflections for Embracing Life. (Inner Traditions, December 10, 2024.)

The study guides are free through 2024 at which time we evolve into a paid membership organization. (Pledge now and you lock in the current membership rate at $10/month even though you won’t begin paying until January.)