How Are We to Live?

The philosopher’s question and Spiritual Aging’s Community Guidelines

Spiritual Aging is the next frontier for those of us growing old. And while we each have to go our own way, we don’t have to walk alone. The Spiritual Aging community we are building together here at Substack has been growing together since the beginning of summer 2024. Approaching 2000 in the larger community and 100 in the paid membership, there has never been an unkind word passed between us. We have been building the kind of civil society we believe answers the philosopher’s ultimate question: “How are we to live?”

The Spiritual Aging Community Guidelines were created and shared using Substack best practices so we are all on the same page of elevated trust. I want this to be that rarest and most precious of offerings for our shared times: a safe place where we can grow towards our full human potential in the company of like-hearted others. Of course, deepening the conversation about spiritual aging online is new territory for us all and I appreciate your taking this leap of faith with me, trusting that we will all learn as we go.

I am reassured by how many in this inner circle I have come to know personally.  Many are my peers—authors, scholars, therapists, professionals in related fields. Others are personal friends and readers/participants who have become supporters. I am excited by the number of recent pledges and newcomers who have felt called to commit to our community of old souls. There’s still room for more. We have volunteer monitors assigned to help things run smoothly but with our small numbers, we will also rely upon ourselves and each other to maintain community standards. Without further ado, the Guidelines:

Spiritual Aging Community Guidelines

1.    Be kind to each other.

Spiritual Aging is founded on the principle that there’s no right or wrong way to do aging. We’re all in this together yet this is an individual journey and each one of us deserves compassion. Respect one other’s perspectives, personal spirituality and life experiences in your conversations. If you get triggered by a comment, this is an opportunity to practice refraining from judgment and if you feel called to say something at all, make sure it is helpful not hurtful. As the twelve step programs put it, we are here to “share our wisdom, strength and hope.” Let’s keep this a safe space.

2.    Stay on-topic. 

We want this publication to support thoughtful discussion around our experiences of the challenges and opportunities related to spirituality and aging. It is not a place for off-topic digressions. In our present climate, be mindful of introducing potentially divisive opinions about particular political issues or religious positions. Again, we are inspired by the twelve step program’s approach which refrains from dogma but rather allows us to define our beliefs personally as we “come to understand” spirituality for ourselves.

3.    Promotion Guideline.

Off-topic includes spam and repetitive self-promotion. There will be opportunities to introduce yourself to the group and provide links to additional information for those who are interested but this is not an arena for self-promotion, marketing or sales.

4. Respect Diversity.

We will not tolerate any form of hate speech, discrimination, harassment or proselytizing.

5. Confidentiality.

The depth of our communication is based on trust. Refrain from sharing personal information from our comments and chats with others who are not directly engaged in the interaction without consent. Also, be mindful of citing people by name when you share. Use generalized terms (“a family member” or “a neighbor”, for example.) It is imperative that we are all on the same page both regarding taking responsibility for what and how we choose to make public while at the same time trusting one another that shared information will be kept within the confines of the SASS community.

6. Take Responsibility for Your Emotional and Psychological Well-being.

Most of us drawn to this material have done psychological and inner work that has prepared us to engage with our aging on a deeper level, sharing our questions, wisdom and strength with one another. In growing spiritually, while we consider the opinions and suggestions of others, the ultimate authority is your own inner and divine guidance—a matter of individual discernment. This includes taking responsibility for your own emotional and psychological well-being understanding that we are a study and support group and not qualified to offer therapeutic, medical or legal counsel. If you find yourself triggered by any of the material in the study guides or comments and it is affecting you negatively, this could be the time to consider seeking professional help. But for most of us, reflecting upon and discussing all aspects of spiritual aging can be done on our own and in a community of peers, such as our SASS. If at any point you feel uncomfortable being part of our group, feel free to withdraw. If you need assistance arranging a refund, email me at Corsborn@aol.com.

From Substack:  How we’ll enforce Community Guidelines

We approach Community Guidelines enforcement with a baseline assumption of positive intent. If we take action on a comment, we’ll provide a reason where it makes sense to do so. Transparency and good faith are important to us, and we want to communicate our expectations as clearly as possible. If you believe someone has violated the Substack guidelines, please report the comment to the Substack Community team by using the “Report comment” option next to the comment. For more, click HERE.

Our team has full discretion to remove comments that we deem misaligned with the Community Guidelines, or to suspend individuals—temporarily or permanently—for behaviors that we deem inappropriate.

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As wayshowers  in a society that needs its wise elders more than ever, what we do here with and for each other matters. For those of us who are opting for an even deeper commitment by joining the Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group (SASS), the stakes of modeling a civil society are elevated—and I for one trust that we are up to it.

--Carol Orsborn, founder of Spiritual Aging and The Spiritual Aging Study and Support Group